The teen drama blog

Hello!

(I might have been 19 in this picture? I was pretty drunk anyway)

My docudrama is written. It is based on the aftermath of the Batavia ship mutiny and massacre in 1629. It's a horrendous story with a truly awful psychopath - Jeronimus Cornelisz - ordering the massacre of over 100 victims. My short was a fictional account of the aftermath of the massacre. When the Batavia ship's commander, who had returned from his own epic voyage to find help, held a trial for Jeronimus and his guilty men and executed them all. Jeronimus was sentenced to be hanged but not before he had his hands cut off with a hammer and chisel. I think just imagining a chisel being used to cut off someone's hands to be really gruesome. A really uncomfortable sight, so I wanted to include that in the short.

So I'm happy with that short.

Now I move onto another gruesome tale that makes me uncomfortable. A TEEN DRAMA.

I have until 27th January 2022 to begin and finish a short in this genre.

I will probably annoy one of my nieces or nephews about teenager stuff now. I mean, when I was a teenager I smoked cigarettes. I played wrestling (I got chokeslammed off a bunkbed onto a wooden floor once. Fun times). I hardly did my homework. I got turned down by plenty of girls I liked. I was an OK goalkeeper in football. I was a pretty good gamer, who am I kidding, I still am!

Hmm, what drama went on? I fancied my friend's ex-girlfriend once but then she only saw me as a friend and so nothing really went anywhere anyway. I let my friend know before anyone anyway. So nothing really dramatic there. I got into one or two small fights but they weren't prolonged dramatic feuds so that's alright......

Hmm....nope, apparently I really did sleep through years 13 to 19 of my life. I'm going to have to make up for it though so whenever I become a paid screenwriter, you better believe I'm causing writer drama on social media! That seems like teen drama but without the words written in text speak.

So for this blog I am going to try and get into the mind of a teenager. Not literally, that would be wrong! But I am going to see if I can get the 2022 teenager slang correct. So, I have gathered some teen slang and pasted them below. Essentially this blog is now a game for me. Enjoy reading! Play along if you like. There's no points but I'll say if you get 10 correct, let me know and I'll applaud your efforts!

Here we go:

Teenager slang in 2022 (apparently)

The List

Fit

Low-key

Situationship

Savage

Opp

Sussy

Hits Different

Sleep On

Yassify

Mukbang

WYA

Mood

Mutuals

IYKYK

Snatched

Bih

Drip

Fire / Trash

Goals

My Guesses

Fit

Surely this is describing someone good looking. "He/She is fit." This is an easy one, this has been around a while.

Low-key

Probably something like, someone is quiet. Shy maybe? An introvert. "Mary's low-key".

Situationship

This must be a mix of situation and relationship .Is this when you're on a date with The Situation? (Oh God that is a terribly old and lame reference now isn't it? Wasn't he on Jersey Shore or something?) OK Situationship is when you like someone, so you only have eyes for them but you aren't in a relationship with them yet. "Hey Kevin what's happening with you and Celine's situationship?" "Oh hey Father Jim, I haven't asked her out yet". That sort of thing?

Savage

My instinct is to say someone who eats a lot? "She eats like a savage". Or possibly something that is cool. "Your deep sea diving suit is savage".

Opp

How do you use opp in a sentence? Alright, eh, it must be shortening some word beginning with opp. Opponent. So is it just short for that? "Hey Clarissa, who is your opp for the charity tennis tournament today?".

Sussy

Suspect!! I've played Among Us, I know this one! Oh wait it might just be suspicious. Either or, practically the same thing. "This double glazed window installation is sussy."

Hits Different

Something that isn't doing what it's meant to do. Like food or drink that's past it's expiration date. Or jeans that rip as soon as you by them? "This glass hammer hits different".

Sleep On

Sleep on it? Consider something? "Want to kick a chicken? I'd sleep on that"

Yassify

What the hell is this? Is this just saying yes and for some reason teenagers need to add more syllables? "Hey Craig, still breathing?" "Yassify!". That's my guess.

Mukbang

Someone who is not physically attractive but their personality is top notch. "Nathan has the face of a Mukbang but the comic timing of Rick & Morty".

WYA

Why You Angry? Or wait maybe it's Why You Ask? I think it's Why You Ask because teenagers would be annoying like that. You ask them are they OK and they have to answer with a question.

Mood

Is this just general atmosphere. Like "The mood of this party is bloody fantastic."

Mutuals

Friends. Or maybe it's just online friends? "My mutuals are planning a coup d'etat."

IYKYK

I mean...how the hell can I guess this? It means....OH I GOT IT! It means "If you know you know!" That's the only possible meaning to that.

Snatched

Stolen. "You snatched that from another nun".

Bih

This is bitch but getting around saying curse words that might be censored online? "This bih is fucking reasonable".

Drip

I think I know this one. It's something like cool. Looking cool. "You're so drip with your glowing green earrings."

Fire / Trash

I thought fire would be the same as drip, but then trash? Both must mean cheap and tacky then?

Goals

Is this something like "couple goals". It's just aspirations. One teenager says "I hope I can recover my self esteem" and then another one shouts "Goals!" and then the first teenager says "Yassify" and then they go home?

That's my answers. I'm going to tot up my score and here, below are the actual answers.

Correct Answers

Fit

When teenagers use this word, they're usually not talking about someone who's been hitting the gym. Instead, fit is short for outfit, as in, "That fit is on point! Do you have a hot date or something?"

Feck! OK, I got this wrong. Well, really I didn't get it wrong, teenagers did but I get no point on this one.

Low-key

When your teen wants to express a feeling or desire without coming on too strong, she may add the adjective low-key or lowkey to help downplay it. "They're announcing who made varsity today, and I'm low-key freaking out," or, "He's low-key cute, but I'm keeping my options open." (Predictably, highkey means the exact opposite.)

OK, this one makes a bit of sense. So I will accept this one. Damn. No points.

Situationship

When a relationship is more than friends but less than a couple, it might be a situationship. Think of it as the modern counterpart to the old Facebook relationship status option, "It's complicated."

I'm going to be generous to myself and give a 1/4 point to myself. It's my blog anyway.

Savage

The exact meaning may vary, but savage, like dope or fierce, is definitely a compliment. A teen may call their friend savage for a particularly well-done insult or retort. Doing something savage shows bravery or a total lack of care/fear.

As Megan Thee Stallion and Beyonce taught us, anyone or anything savage refers to something extremely cool and unbothered.

Oh it's a compliment! Deep sea diving suit is savage works. ONE POINT!

Opp

An opp (short for opponent) is an enemy or competitor, someone who is working against you in some way. The next time you deny your teen's request for cash or an outing on a school night, you might find yourself in the opp category.

Right again. Surely it's an opponent! ONE POINT

Sussy

Sussy is an increasingly popular alternative to the slang term "sus," short for suspicious. It entered the mainstream thanks to the video game Among Us and now refers to anyone or anything that seems a little...off.

I am now doing brilliant! ANOTHER ONE POINT

Hits Different

When something hits different, it is significantly better than usual, as in, "A nap on a cold, rainy afternoon just hits different."

And I've lost it. No point.

Sleep On

To sleep on something is to overlook its importance or value. "Don't sleep on that new guidance counselor; I heard she used to be a backup dancer for Doja Cat."

Aw damn. This might be the polar opposite to what I thought? No point.

Yassify

To yassify something or someone is to glam them up until they're almost unrecognizable. It originally referred to influencers' common use of beauty filters on social media, but in late 2021 a YassifyBot account popped up on Twitter and began churning out images of famous faces (think, Queen Elizabeth or Severus Snape) digitally enhanced until they look like Bratz dolls.

No point and no I will not go looking for this YassifyBot.

Mukbang

Pronounced "mook-bong," this form of entertainment originated in South Korea and features live footage of someone eating large amounts of food. Its popularity gained steam on YouTube during the coronavirus (or "rona," to your teen) pandemic, and many fans find the videos and their accompanying eating noises comforting and relaxing.

I think my answer is a lot better than this. Oh God. No point. To me or this explanation.

WYA

An acronym for "Where you at?" that's usually used in text messages. Feel free to use it the next time your teen breaks curfew: "WYA, get home NOW."

Ah OK. Fair enough. I still prefer "Wer U?" But I guess that was too wordy for teenagers. No point.

Mood

Moods are something your teenager has in bulk. But when it comes to Gen Z slang, mood refers to something the speaker can relate to or agrees with. For example, after a tough day, your teen might post a photo of a screaming toddler with the caption "Mood" to express solidarity.

Oh!!! I've seen mood used like this. OK, fair enough No point.

Mutuals

Mutuals, sometimes shorted to moots, are two people who follow each other and interact on social media. It's a common word on TikTok and other platforms to refer to internet friends.

That's ONE POINT. Yay!! Social media is ruining our lives! Yay ONE POINT though.

IYKYK

If you know what this one stands for, you know. (See what I did there?) Often used on social media alongside more obscure TV show or movie references, or to caption an otherwise unlabeled photo.

Thank you. ONE POINT. It had to be this.

Snatched

When you're looking your best, your teen might grace you with the compliment "snatched," or particularly stylish. Savor it, because moments like this don't come around often.

Oh alright. No point for me.

Bih

I'll avoid literally spelling it out for you, but just imagine three more letters in the middle and you'll get the picture. Although sometimes used as a term of endearment among friends, you usually don't want to be labeled a bih.

Wait, three letters? B I T C H? Two letters surely? Is it B I A T C H? Meh, either way, ONE POINT. I'm very proud of myself for figuring that one out.

Drip

In slang terms, drip is a synonym for style, particularly the fashionable or sexy kind. If millennials had swag, Generation Z has drip.

ONE POINT. My style transcends decades so it's no surprise I knew this.

Fire / Trash

Think of these two as opposite ends of the cool spectrum. Something wonderful is fire, while something terrible is trash. In other words, it's like Grease versus Grease 2.

Wait I was right then? The / confused me but I guessed correct? Screw it, ONE POINT.

Goals

When something inspires aspirational envy, or two things go together extremely well, the reaction is, "Goals." One example: "Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds' marriage is goals." Another example: "Parents keeping up with their teenager's lingo for more than a month? Goals."

Yep, I got this right. GOALS! ONE POINT!

My score: 9 1/4 out of 19

That is so close to my average test score in secondary school as a teenager. So hooray, I am now confident I can write a good teen drama for the cool teenagers of today.

Thanks for reading.

Teenage Kevin